Stop it with the roof racks.

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 10/23/2013 at 22:48 • Filed to: Rant

7

90

Seriously, stop. Are you going on an expedition across Africa, Antarctica, the North Pole or similar? Is your car a Land Rover, Hummer, Jeep or similar? Are you currently going skiing, canoeing, or hunting or similar?

No, you have a sports car meant for high performance driving. So, take off the roof rack, it looks silly. Do you like extra wind resistance and added weight? Does your trunk not open? Your car looks like this:

If you say it looks like, "I'm here to party," do you have a mullet?

Don't even get me started on stanced cars with roof racks.

dogisbadob > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:50

2

Roof racks are awesome. Stop the hate.

Desu-San-Desu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:51

0

My trunk is tiny and full of tools. The rear seats also don't fold down. Hence my roof rack is functional and actually gets used- especially when I have passengers.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > dogisbadob 10/23/2013 at 22:52

1

No, they are silly.

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:53

0

I hauled a couch on a friend's Neon's roof racks. Quit your hating.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:53

0

What if I put a roof rack on my car to mount a massive keg, even if it is for show? And keep in mind - this is my car.

I have a feeling I could rock a roof rack if I had a keg or a bunch of 6-packs on it.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Desu-San-Desu 10/23/2013 at 22:54

0

My trunk has a full tool kit and emergency bag, yet there is still plenty of room. How small is your trunk?

Makoyouidiot > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:54

4

Are you including roofboxes in this? Cause some of them are pretty sweet.

Tyler's SVT Focus Hates Him > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:54

2

Jon Olsson and his R8 would like a word with you.

PS9 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:54

9

This looks like a fuckin' dish rack. Yep, Imma use my M3 to drive around and dry my dishes superfast.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > For Sweden 10/23/2013 at 22:55

0

Did he leave it on all the time?

qwertt > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:56

4

Jalops (and others)
If your car has an empty
Roof rack, please remove it
And then stow it in your garage

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Tyler's SVT Focus Hates Him 10/23/2013 at 22:56

2

He is skiing.

Desu-San-Desu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:56

0

Tiny. Like, 1 golf bag and a couple small duffel bags tiny. Between my full-sized toolbox, fluid containers, emergency air compressor, roadside emergency kit, and the spare tire (mounted on the side), there's very little spare room back there.

Part of the reason is that my fuel tank is between the trunk and the back seat, as the rear drivetrain is where the tank normally goes.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:57

1

I said the exact same thing. Prepare to be pooped on.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Makoyouidiot 10/23/2013 at 22:57

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Yes, unless you are using it, leave it at home.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > YSI-what can brown do for you 10/23/2013 at 22:58

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I am ready, I have an older brother, I can handle abuse.

Desu-San-Desu > qwertt 10/23/2013 at 22:59

3

To be perfectly honest, taking them off isn't bad. But getting them back on is a pain in the ass sometimes. It's just easier to take the .5 mpg hit and leave them up there. And personally, I like the aesthetic effect on certain cars.

Mainly older German cars, lol.

Makoyouidiot > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 22:59

0

bah

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Desu-San-Desu 10/23/2013 at 22:59

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What car is this?

For Sweden > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:00

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Nope

PS9 > Tyler's SVT Focus Hates Him 10/23/2013 at 23:00

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Well...it's not like you can get good cargo space from a supercar...

It's a "Porch-uh" > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:01

3

The guy I bought my M5 from had a roof rack for it that he offered me with the car. I took one of the cross bars and beat him with it.

Really though, he offered to me as part of the deal, but I would have to drive to his house 2 hours away in LA to get it. The wagon gets the roof rack, and only for big trips up north, not daily (the wind noise is annoying and I'm sure it's killing milage). The Beast will not be burdened with such things.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > For Sweden 10/23/2013 at 23:01

2

Well, that's fine. I'm hating on the douchebags who have them on there all the time.

RMudkips > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:01

0

Hmm, stanced Volvo wagon with bicycles on a roof rack?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > It's a "Porch-uh" 10/23/2013 at 23:02

1

Yes, they are completely wasteful, unless they are being used.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > RMudkips 10/23/2013 at 23:05

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If I can fit my friend's bike in my e36 a Volvo wagon can too. And if it's stanced, their opinion is nullified.

AddMustard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:07

2

THAT one is dumb, since it looks like it's for luggage or something. I live in the Pacific Northwest where there's plenty of places to go do outdoors things, ski and snowboard, mountain bike, even surf if you're insane. I snowboard and cramming my boards into the back of my coupe is a bad time, and no fun AFTER snowboarding and everything is covered in melty freezing water. I've pondered a snowboard rack on several occasions, because while I love to hit the slopes, I don't see the need to buy an SUV to travel solely for snowboarding. Don't hate. Think of it as "a car with purpose."

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > AddMustard 10/23/2013 at 23:08

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"Are you currently going skiing, canoeing, or hunting or similar?"

Desu-San-Desu > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:10

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1991 Audi 80 quattro.

AddMustard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:10

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"are you asking me?"

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > AddMustard 10/23/2013 at 23:12

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It is written in my post.

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:12

2

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:13

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And if you have nowhere to put it other than on your car? Because that's where roof boxes go...?

offroadkarter > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:14

3

I will back you on this, I know most people get the snowboard racks for their VW's not because they snowboard, but because it adds swag

This M3 is just a whole new level of stupid, that looks like a rack I'd find on a jeep

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > gmctavish needs more space 10/23/2013 at 23:14

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No, put it back to normal. Is the tow hook for when it accidently drives of the pavement.

AddMustard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:14

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tl;dr apparently

Let's say though, that I am also lazy and/or have no place to store my roof rack in the offseason?

RMudkips > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:15

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I see. Obviously it'd fit in a Volvo wagon, so form over function for that one.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > gmctavish needs more space 10/23/2013 at 23:17

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What? Are you telling me that there is nowhere else to put it? Seriously?

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:17

2

Bah! Be glad you have a roof to put a rack on, I say!

EDIT: Always with Ze Germans...

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:18

2

Who cares, the owner likes it and I happen to think it's gorgeous. E30s just look damn good with racks, especially Thules

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > AddMustard 10/23/2013 at 23:19

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Too long; didn't read the third sentence?

Put it with your snow board. Roof racks get small.

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:20

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Roof boxes are big, there are 4 people in my family with lots of stuff, and the garage is completely full. There's no good reason to take it of the car considering it has no effect on mileage, would just be taking up space that other things could be in, and happens to make the car look better. Also it's a wagon. All wagons look great with boxes.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 10/23/2013 at 23:21

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Those Boxter roof racks are the worst.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > gmctavish needs more space 10/23/2013 at 23:22

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It's a wagon, you don't need it.

911e46z06 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:25

4

Lmao. I say it looks like "I'm here to party." And I don't have a mullet. But I do have THIS!

Also, take that!

And this!

And one of these!

Dunnik > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:28

1

OK, I've seen some extreme roof racks, but a full on cargo rack on an M3?

That's just trollin'

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > gmctavish needs more space 10/23/2013 at 23:28

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No, everything done to that car completely daffy.

the hood isn't closed.

congrats on not having suspension.

wind deflectors on the windows

red tow hook

lay hanging from the rearview

roof rack

/// M badge

Dim headlights

the dark green to black marbled paint fade

One verdict, dude is a douche.

AddMustard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:30

0

I didn't even read the first sentence.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > 911e46z06 10/23/2013 at 23:31

1

No. Especially the F40. Whoever did that should have it rammed up their ass.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:31

2

It's literally an answer to a question no one asked. Thank God BMW didn't slap that crap on the Z4.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > AddMustard 10/23/2013 at 23:32

2

And yet, you commented.

Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:32

2

Roofrack ALL the cars.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Luke's Dad Sold His 2000TL To Get a Sienna 10/23/2013 at 23:33

1

No.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 10/23/2013 at 23:35

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This one was home made.

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:36

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Alright, here we go. Hood isn't closed - means...what exactly? That he forgot to close the hood? okay.

Some people like stance, you don't. SOme people like ketchup chips, maybe you don't like those either.

Irrelevant.

Irrelevant.

Maybe he likes leis.....? Just guessing here.

Maybe he thinks it looks good, like I do...?

It's an MTech 2 car, they came with ///M badges.

Smoked lenses look good.

Thats Diamondswhartz paint, OEM colour.

Chill :p

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > gmctavish needs more space 10/23/2013 at 23:38

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It's a common stance thing on the E30's no have the hood never closed.

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:40

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.......

We do need it......that's why we bought it......

Wagon does not equal harry Potter tent-loads of space.

Also, honestly tell me this would look better without the box.

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:41

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So you don't like stance. That's cool, I don't like bro trucks.

Birddog > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:41

1

I was all ready to get knee jerk offended until I read further.
I usually keep a 35x12.50 spare tire and other stuff on the roof but it destroys my already miserable mileage..
Here's lumpy staring down his cousin.

TheOnelectronic > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:42

4

(Yeah, I know you disclaimed people actually using them, but I couldn't pass up an opportunity to use this song.)

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:43

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See, this is why I got a pickup instead. So I don't have to bother with putting stuff on the roof. Just put it in the bed.

Haul more, and save the world from the scourge of the Boxster roof rack.

WarShrike > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:45

4

I'm surprised I don't see any roof rack posts with spare wheels/tires for trackdays!

AddMustard > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:49

1

Twas sarcasm. I skimmed it at least :)

Burrito de EJ25 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/23/2013 at 23:59

4

I wish I could get upset about other people's tastes in car mods, aesthetic or not. It looks like fun.

But then I remember that I have real shit to do.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > gmctavish needs more space 10/24/2013 at 00:07

1

I also hate Bro Trucks. Glad to see we have a common ground.

Burrito de EJ25 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 00:16

1

What if you don't care if something is wasteful? Like, say, driving a V8 muscle car in bumper to bumper traffic to and from work every day because you love the noise it makes.

Perhaps then a roof rack left on because someone finds it aesthetically just might make some sense.

Even if it is killing your MPGs by, like, almost nothing.

TexasEdition > Burrito de EJ25 10/24/2013 at 00:21

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Amen, my friend. I'm all about letting people do what they want, because I really enjoy doing what I want. I don't understand beating someone up over stupid things like this.

911e46z06 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 00:24

2

Keep sippin on that Haterade

Burrito de EJ25 > YSI-what can brown do for you 10/24/2013 at 00:24

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You got pooped on for pooping on other people.

And then we went on a semantic argument about how you were dissing the people, not the cars.

I was all, "AW HELL NAW YOUS MEAN AS A MO'FUCKER"!

And you was all, "NUH-UH WHY CAN'T I HAVE FEELINGS ON STUFFS WHY WHAT IS THIS NAZI GERMANY OMG WTF AM I ROBOT SHOULD I NOT HATE THINGS OMG"

And I was all, "TRICK, YOU CAN HATE ON THINGS ALL YOU WANT JUST DON'T HATE ON THAT PERSON CUZ THEY LIEK SOMEFIN YOU DON'T AND NOT ESSPECT THEM TO GET IN YOUR FACE BOUT IT. ACKIN ALL INDIGNANT 'N' SHIIIT

SpeedSix > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 00:27

4

This. Can't hate on this.

YSI-what can brown do for you > Burrito de EJ25 10/24/2013 at 00:33

2

Bitch you want to do this? I will take you on. I CAN BUY YOUR WHOLE FAMILY!

But yes, I understand now. Make funnies of the things, and not the people, cause taste is pretty much subective. And of course I have the best taste in the world cause I am brown and you are not. #thelastpartissarcasmihopeyouunderstandpleasedonthurtme

Kylemaro > SpeedSix 10/24/2013 at 00:36

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i can, i mean who the hell wants a stupid ass Volkswagen bug anyways, i cant possibly think of a worse car for anyone ever, and then its only gone and painted stupid racing stripes on it to make it look even more daft and ridiculous, i spit all over this car apuuugh
disclaimer: this is just a test to see if journalists can read

SpeedSix > Desu-San-Desu 10/24/2013 at 00:37

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Does this count?

Desu-San-Desu > SpeedSix 10/24/2013 at 00:38

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Yes.

:-P

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > SpeedSix 10/24/2013 at 01:01

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That came that way from the factory, right?

SpeedSix > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 01:12

1

Remember? Torch's Beetle was stolen and then found ?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

And yes, a rather rare factory option.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > SpeedSix 10/24/2013 at 01:16

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Yeah, I'm well aware of Torch's Beetle.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Burrito de EJ25 10/24/2013 at 01:18

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And yet, you comment.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Burrito de EJ25 10/24/2013 at 01:20

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Nope, I love V8's and all the noise they make.

Just gonna keep on hating on roof racks, because you know, it's my opinion .

Corson Currently Coupein' It > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 01:22

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Roof racks okay... I happen to like them, but I see your point. How do you feel about trunk racks? I kinda want one for my '67 if there was a way to have it removable. When I drive across the country I want some extra space for tents and dufflebags.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Corson Currently Coupein' It 10/24/2013 at 01:24

0

I have seen maybe one ever actually used. But yeah, I don't like 'em. They mess with the lines of the car.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > gmctavish needs more space 10/24/2013 at 01:33

0

Yeah, it would, also rear facing third row seats.

ddavidn > Corson Currently Coupein' It 10/24/2013 at 01:34

1

I like these, as long as some luggage is tied to them once in a while. I think they look classy on some vehicles, such as MG's.

YSI-what can brown do for you > gmctavish needs more space 10/24/2013 at 02:03

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I care god damn it. I CARE!!!!

Burrito de EJ25 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 02:42

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You have every right to dislike them.

I dislike a lot of things.

Burrito de EJ25 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 02:59

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Making a snide comment is a bit different to being actively upset that someone left some scaffolding on their vehicle's roof because they think it looks cool.

The difference is that I'm going to forget that this ever happened and go on not being a belligerent jerk because someone decorated their car a certain way.

I hold Oppo to high standards. I don't want it to turn into the front page. So, yeah, let's disagree on things, but let's also be respectful.

And also never, ever bring up politics. That last one has nothing to do with anything in this post. It's just a solid rule to follow if we want to keep this automotive garden of Eden as pleasant as possible.

gmctavish needs more space > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 10/24/2013 at 03:53

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Alright, that's your opinion. I happen to think it looks much better with the box. And yes, it has jump seats. They're kind of the shit

GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 10/24/2013 at 08:26

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Get 30 racks...pun intended.

M54B30 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 11/01/2013 at 23:54

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I live in the only large town for hundreds of miles in South Dakota, over the weekends you'll see people with Suburbans with roof racks loaded to the max and hitch racks just because they don't come up often so they make it worth it.

Lilly Jamison > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 06/28/2014 at 09:05

0

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